ODE DADDY

Another Father's Day weekend coming up. And me, without a father. Sigh.

Seems I have been fortunate enough to have several mothers over the years. But only one father. And I adored him blindly. Little girls are like that, you know.

Recently, listening to my brothers, I've come to realize that he wasn't the wonderful, warm, cuddly, brilliant, entertaining, adorable daddy I knew. I loved to crawl into his warm, toasty bed on Saturday mornings and have hime tell me stories. He was such an expressive, fun raconteur.

The mind is a fascinating thing. I didn't remember all the fights and arguments and battles the boys had. Or I understood my father's point of view and dismissed them, because he always made perfect sense to me. Even when we totally disagreed, I understood his perspective. The boys, well, they remember him in anger and frustration.

To me, my Daddy lit up the room.

Dad's are interesting. A dear friend whom I adore, told me that he and his son have finally started to hash out their personal animosities. (Or at least his son's.) Knowing him, I couldn't imagine him doing the things his son feels he did or didn't do. Yet, my friend says, his son is right.

Why don't dads get along with their sons?

While I am adamantly not a fan of films and television programs that keep depicting the parents constantly in the wrong; that keep having the parents apologize for everything while their evil spawn wreak havoc all over and just sit back and reap the the praise for being ill-mannered, inconsiderate boors...

sometimes, parents do need to clear the air and apologize.

Dad, how do your children feel about you?

And if it's not great...what are you going to do to change that?

It's time to stop taxing your filial relationships - while you can still save them.

Remember, though, if you're still lucky enough to have parents -

Stop and think.

When they were being parents, they didn't have a manual.

They had to guess and fumble and bumble along - just like you
did when you had your children.

Cut them some slack. Whatever they did, they meant well.
And they didn't know any better. They just did the best they could.

With love to my daddy...wherever he is.